Long Time Coming

I woke up to a surprising 240.6 lbs this morning. That means that I lost about 7 lbs since Friday. I know it's mostly water weight (as evidenced by the terrible leg cramp I had yesterday), but it feels good to see the number drop so much.

Back in 2005 I reached critical mass. My scale didn't go high enough to show me how much I weighed, so I went online and found one that went to 350 lbs. I can't describe the feeling of horror and disappointment I felt when I stepped on that scale and it read 345 lbs. I was killing myself, and I didn't even realize it. I didn't know what to do with myself, but nature intervened. Hurricane Rita hit the coast of Texas that September, and we had to evacuate. After the storm, I came back early to get back to work. I had no electricity and no clean water. I lived out of an ice chest for about a week, and every morning I'd wake up in a pool of my own sweat. Somehow I managed to lose 5 lbs., and that was the impetus for this continuing journey. I saw that it could be done, but I still didn't know how to do it myself. I did what I could, but it was a slow process.

In the summer of 2007 I moved from Texas to Wichita, KS. Shortly after that I took my first fitness class from Chris Haines. It's been a bumpy road of weight loss and weight gain since then. No fault of Chris'; I just have some very bad habits that I'm breaking. I had lost about 50 lbs with Chris' help, but I put it back on. That didn't do too much to boost my self-esteem, but thankfully Chris never gave up on me.

I mentioned to Chris that I would like to try a fight at least once, and in September of 2010, Chris offered to start training me. Here we are, seven and a half months later, and I'm down 68 lbs. That, with the weight I lost before I met Chris, is about 105 lbs lost since I sadly hit 345 lbs. It's been a long time coming, but I finally hit the 100 lb mark. I know I still have a long way to go, but I'm more motivated now than ever. My first amateur fight is less than a month away, and Chris has me training harder than ever.

"Do you regret this yet?" Chris has asked me that a couple of times with a smile on his face. I'm not going to lie, this is arguably the hardest thing I've ever done, but I certainly don't regret it. Do I regret losing weight and getting in better shape? No. Do I regret getting healthier and adding years to my life? No. My body aches, and I don't think I've ever physically pushed myself this hard before. I can honestly say that I'm doing this with no regrets.

Having never fought before, I'm dealing with a bunch of nerves and emotions. Chris told me something today that I hadn't thought of. He said to imagine my victory because I deserve it. I do deserve it. I have worked damn hard to get this far, and I'm going to keep working hard until I achieve my goals. Look for me to get my hand raised in victory on May 14th. I deserve it.

Let's Get It On

I'm so happy to say that I woke up to 248.6 lbs this morning. I thought my scale was playing a late April Fools joke on me, but after several weigh ins, I convinced myself that it must be true.

When you hear Marvin Gaye say, "Let's get it on," you probably have thoughts of taking a beautiful woman and making sweet love down by the fire, but when you hear Mills Lane or Big John McCarthy say it, you know someone's about to get their ass whooped. Well this blog is about the latter. I got a text from Chris Haines yesterday, and he asked me if I wanted to fight on May 14th. Nervous, excited, and fearful, I agreed to fight. The first thought that crossed my head was, "Shit! I'm going to have to take my shirt off in front of people." I'll get over that as soon as the punches start flying.

I was a ball of nerves yesterday, but it soon turned to nervous excitement. I called my mom and my brother to share the news with them, and they were really supportive. Then I called a couple of good friends, who were also very supportive. I'm trying to stay positive, and not dwell on my fears. I don't want to get knocked out, and I don't want to crap my pants. Anything beyond that, and I'll be happy with my performance. If I can go the distance like Rocky, I'll feel victorious. But in all honesty, I'm not training to lose - I'm training to win. I want to win. Two men are entering the cage, and one of us has to win. Why can't it be me? So I'm focusing on as much positivity as I can. I'm visualizing my victory, and trying to suppress any thoughts of defeat.

I don't want to discuss too much about my training camp or our game plan, but today was the first day. It was pretty rough. Chris and I talked afterward, and he gave me some good advice and words of encouragement. As nervous as I am about this fight, I'm really looking forward to it. I want to see what I'm capable of. What's my limit? Can I go beyond that limit? I'll soon find out.

My family, my friends, and everyone at Delano MMA and Fitness has been really great. Thank you all for your support and encouragement. I'll keep you updated as things progress. All or nothing!